Skip to main content

B and I had our first fight.


It happened.

We had our first fight. Over kids.

The decibel of my voice raised.  His was calmer.

I was a bit irrational. He stayed fairly reasonable.

We hassled through things for about an hour, without any solutions rising to the top. It got late. Both of us were tired. And both still upset. 

Then I remembered that wise advice so many women gave me before getting married, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.”

I looked at B and I thought about that worthy phrase…

Then I pushed it out of my mind, crawled into our comfy bed and went to sleep.

Yep.  The sun went down.

On our wrath.

So much for wise advice around our house. We were taking this newly married thing by storm.

The next day, he called from work. I was calmer. I’d had time to pray and think and process. I’d had time to sort through the night before's struggle. I thought through all the things I knew were true about him and what I really believed was in his heart.

We talked. We apologized. We united. When he got home that night, we hugged for a long time.

The first fight was over.

The most surprising parts of this whole thing though were the feelings I felt afterwards. I had a deeper sense that B was in this thing for good. Like, really in this, for the long haul. It didn’t matter that we fell off the advice-wagon and the sun happened to go down on our anger. He was clear. He was going to hang on tight, without any question, white knuckling it if he has to, to be in this with me. He still wants to laugh with me until we wrinkle up and begin to wither. He still wants to live with me. He still wants to raise our kids together. He still wants to date. He isn’t going anywhere. He won’t leave. He won’t bail. He won’t withdraw. He won’t quit on me or on us. He is in this. With me. Forever. Until we’re 102.

All the commitments I already had in my heart, to hear he had them too…

Those feelings.

Those.

Those are some of the best feelings in the whole world.

So… the first fight was not fun. It was icky, frustrating and unwelcomed. And I wish it hadn’t happened.

But it did, so I am thanking God for all the feelings I had afterwards… goodness, forgiveness, confession, and love. It was almost worth the conflict.

I sure love the man I married.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

To the woman in New York on the fence about abortion.

To the woman in New York on the fence about abortion,
The conservatives in the nation are in an uproar about the decision your state made this week. They have decided to give you the option to “choose” to abort your child for yet a longer percent of your term.
This isn’t new.
In the Old Testament, women were sacrificing their babies by throwing them into rivers in order to appease the gods.
Today, women sacrifice their babies in honor of women’s rights.
It was happening thousands of years ago and it is still happening today. It won’t be rendered right until the Lord comes back.
So here is what I’d like to tell you today. For this moment, don’t worry about the New York legislation or about the rights you have to choose from. I just want to sit with you right now in your living room as the tiny baby forms within you.
I know exactly how you feel today.
As a single, 27-year-old young professional, I read the same home pregnancy test you probably recently took.
Positive.
I too, fe…

My dad's words...when I came home pregnant.

As a child, each evening my dad would come into my room, prop up next to my bed to talk with me for a few minutes before telling me goodnight. The conversations would vary, but the ending was always the same. Before getting up he would say, “If I lined up all the little girls in the whole wide world, I would pick you to be my daughter.” I loved hearing that as a little girl, so I would smile, give him a big hug and kiss and drift off to sleep. Every night was consistent. I never tired of hearing those words. As I grew older and no longer needed my parents to tuck me in, that sweet phrase would still come out every now and then. Even if I acted too cool to hear it, inside it affected me.
I finished college at Texas ATM University and received my first job teaching Kindergarten in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. I moved in to my own apartment and began to get acquainted with my new city and new home. Though no one was tucking me in at bedtime, with out fail I received flowers twice a year…