Tuesday, January 20, 2015

To Lady A, the mom who forgave my kid today.

To Lady A, the mom who forgave my kid today, a thank you doesn’t seem sufficient.

My kid has inherited his fiery temper from me.  I would love to pass the buck here and blame this fit throwing behavior on to his father, but in fact his dad is even, slow to anger and even when he’s angry, he doesn’t lose it, so I only have the mirror to look into to find where this outrageous behavior comes from.

Today you were CALM.
Our two sons were playing tug of war with a belt and eventually the fun ended and when my kid couldn’t get the belt back, he resorted to his sinful nature and hit your sweet son. I could see you in the corner of my eye and you stood there quiet and calm. I am well aware that inside every mama is a bear, so while I’m not sure what level your bear was at when this incident occurred, you set your claws aside and stayed calm. Thank you.

Today you were GRACIOUS.
I went over to get my adorable perpetrator and had him apologize to your little one immediately. I then brought him over to you also and had him apologize and as soon as he said, “Will you forgive me?” you immediately responded, “Of course I forgive you Buddy.” You could have chosen to speak out of hurt or anger (or clawing mama bear), but instead you chose to be gracious with your words. Thank you.

Today you were KIND.
 As we were leaving to go home, you grabbed me before getting into your car and hugged me to not only soothe me with your words, but to assure me with your touch that things were in fact, okay. You could have been rude or in a hurry to leave, but instead you chose kindness. Thank you.

Today you were THOUGHTFUL.
I felt sick for hours after leaving the park and it followed me into the evening. I love my kid with all my heart but I also hurt so badly when his sinful nature wounds another precious child. As I was sitting in my nauseated state, in came a random text from you that said, “So I’ll tell ya again not to give this afternoon a second thought…I’m proud to call ya a friend. Don’t let it get ya down.” You have 2 kids at home to take care of and a husband to support and yet, in the middle of your busy evening, you chose thoughtfulness over everything else in order to assure me one more time that things were alright. Thank you.

Today you were ENCOURAGING.
You continued to write in your text your honest thoughts/hardships about motherhood and how the Lord teaches us through it all. Sometimes I can feel like I am the only one who has a kid that messes up and while I do fully believe that your children are perfect (because they are), I certainly appreciate your disclaimer to me that, though the struggles may be different, at the end of the day all of our children struggle with something. You made me feel normal. You could have said a lot of things tonight, but you chose transparency and encouragement. Thank you. 

Today and ALWAYS, you were a really GOOD FRIEND
Lady A, thank you. Thank you for your calmness, graciousness, kindness, thoughtfulness and encouragement. I love you and I am grateful for you. I pray that the Lord continues to work on my heart, my child’s heart and I pray that the Lord blesses you and your family with His favor and His love.

Thank you for showing my child what forgiveness looks like today. You are an elegant woman, full of His spirit, a true Lady.   When you forgive my child, you are doing deep down goodness to my soul. From one mama to another, thank you from every piece of my heart.

With love,

Lauren 

Sunday, January 11, 2015

"God Moment" - "I Made You Breakfast"



I don’t think there is anything in the world more thrilling than seeing God. Though He might not make himself visible to the eye, He unquestionably shows His hand through circumstances. I have a friend whose name is Barbara. She is one of the neatest ladies I know, and when I think about the reason I love to be around her, one main thing comes to mind. She always has the greatest stories to tell about the Lord. I used to think, ‘Wow, God speaks to her a lot…I wish He spoke to me that way.’ Years later, as I was struggling in my day-to-day job, I was encouraged by a friend to always look for my “God Moment” of the day. That way, I wouldn’t focus on the mundane things at work, but I would look for something God was doing. As I began to deliberately look for my ‘God Moments’, miraculously I began to find them. I realized later that THIS was indeed what my friend Barbara has always done. God doesn’t speak to her more than the rest of us, she just chooses to look for Him in the every day things and consequently, she finds Him.

As a mom, it is easy to get worn out. Worn out with laundry, worn out with dishes, worn out with picking up the house just to watch it get messed up again and it is always very easy to get worn out disciplining your children. You wake up every day to repeat the same words you did the day before, “I told you yesterday not to touch that. Quit hitting your sister. Why can’t you just say, ‘Okay mom’ instead of complaining? Why do I have to say it 4 times before you actually do it? You need to obey me the first time I tell you.” Sometimes we don’t see any progress from the day before and then mothering can become a major let down. But recently, I decided to begin using my strategy of looking for “God Moments” at work…at HOME. I would try to find the “God Moments” with my child.

I had a “God Moment” today.

I am not one of those moms who wakes up before her kids to have breakfast, coffee and a quiet time. Nope. I’m a night owl. I do all of my Bible reading and recouping time at night after Wes goes to bed. Because of that, I sleep in with him too. He is my alarm clock. When he gets up, I get up. This morning, as usual, he walked into my room and patted me on the arm. Still half asleep, I rolled over to look at him and groggily said, “Good morning Buddy.” He said good morning back and he was off to play for a few minutes. I laid in bed for about 5 more minutes before dragging myself into the breakfast room to check on him and throw some cereal together for breakfast. As I was walking in from the hallway, I noticed that he had already gotten into the muffin bag and was sitting at the table eating his first of 2 muffins.  As I stepped closer to the table, I saw a 3rd muffin sitting in the place where I usually sit. “That’s odd,” I thought in my head. But then I wondered how it got there, so I asked Wes, “Did you put that muffin here at my place?” He just responded, “Yes” with no explanation. I looked at him again and said, “Well, is it for me?” Again, he said, “Yes” and then this time with a big grin he added 4 tiny little words, “I made you breakfast.” I proceeded to just stare at him, my face beaming. I kind of felt like my heart might burst. I was on a high, the way you feel when you’ve just run a marathon or completed some big cleaning project, except bigger.  All I could do was squeeze him, which is what I did for a bit. This was my God Moment.

Why would those 4 little words be a God Moment? ... because God gave me hope. Hope that I’m not failing as a mom, hope that I’m not ruining my kid, hope that at some point Wes is going to attain all of the training I am giving him. HOPE. Hope can take you a long ways as a mom. Hope can help you raise a young boy into a man, because that's really what we’re all doing. We aren’t just raising little kids every day, we are raising husbands and friends and fathers.

I pray that one day Wes’s 3 year old thoughtfulness of placing an extra muffin out for me turns into taking a meal to a friend who just lost a loved one or making breakfast for his wife on a Saturday morning, or making special birthday breakfasts for his kids just because he loves them. 

“I made you breakfast.” Thank you Lord for that sweet "God Moment". I am grateful. 


My dad's words...when I came home pregnant.

As a child, each evening my dad would come into my room, prop up next to my bed to talk with me for a few minutes before telling me...