Me: Why is your finger so high up in your nose?
Wes: I put a bb in there.
Me: Wait. What? What do you mean you put a bb in there?
Wes: (Nonchalantly) I shoved a bb up my nose.
Me: Why did you do that?
Wes: (blank stare, slight shrug)
Me: Oh em gee. I need you to get it out. Right now.
Wes: I can’t get it out. I've been trying. It’s waaaaay up in there, mom.
Me: Get in the car.
Wes: Where are we going?
Me: To the doctor, of course.
Wes: Alright. (totally calm, as if this is totally normal)
Me: Never. Again. Dude.
Wes: You got it mom.