Friday, January 12, 2018

I Got Fake Eye Lashes



I recently found myself in the hands of a spa gift card. This does not happen often so I relish these particular occasions. I chose something different this time, over the normal, adored pedicure.

I bravely took on the application of synthetic eye apparel, more commonly known as false eye lashes.

I met with the man at the counter, he asked me a few questions, then he took me back to this little room where peaceful spa music was playing. He told me to lie down on the soft bed, covered me up with a little blanket and then told me to close my eyes. Seriously? Like, an actual slice of time for me to relax and listen to calming music?  This is already worth the whole gift card I’m about to fork over.

About an hour later, he was done.

AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I opened my eyes and BAM!  Like, SHAZAM! I was a whole, new woman. BRAND NEW WOMAN. Heeeeelllllooooooo Hollywood! Y’all can’t even understand this. It was like a miracle, probably up there with the Red Sea or the water/wine episode. I don't want to brag or anything but I looked exactly like Tammy Faye in those things. It was like the greatest display of eye affection in the whole world. 

These things are the BEST things to have ever happened to me. As my friend, Shelly says, “Girl, they change your whole face.” I took this as a compliment.

Every time I look in the mirror to wash my hands or brush my hair, I find myself fluttering my eyes a little bit…AT MYSELF. That is weird. A lot weird really… but unfortunately, not weird enough to make me stop. They are so dang dramatic and emphatic and charismatic. I kind of can’t stop.  Just waking up in the morning, these things make you look like a million bucks.

These were probably made in the Garden of Eden. Eve had lashes. This is why Adam fell in love with her.

I think I have gone a little out of my mind over this.

Go get you some.

                                                          #BAM


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