My child will never know the “normal” family. He will never grow up in God’s biblical family design. As a single mom of a 3 year old, this is something that I have grieved over. I grew up with 2 godly parents who have been faithful to each other all of their lives. They taught my brother and me about the Lord and the Word every day as we grew up. Even now, they continue to pour Truth into their 3 grandchildren, my son and his 2 cousins.
Growing up, I never thought to myself, “I really hope I have a baby out of wedlock so that my child will miss out on all that I had growing up.” Um, no, that's absurd. I didn’t fantasize much about having a family as a young girl, but in the back of my mind, I always just assumed that I would and it always looked similar to the way I had it. I mean, that is what my brother did. He married a godly woman, they faithfully prayed and had 2 beautiful kids. This was what my family did. This is how we were raised. This is who we were to be. I just assumed I would do the same thing.
Because of some poor choices I made around the age of 27, I became pregnant with a non-believer and now have a son named Wes. As I think about his future, I ache to think about him not experiencing all the joys of what I had – a godly marriage to look up to, an unbroken home to sleep in and two parents who were always on the same page spiritually. There are still times today that I mourn over that loss.
It seems that during my hardest moments, the enemy’s whisper comes calling into my ear. He tends to wait until my hardest days to come along and drive his lies in deepest. I already have hurts and anxieties over all that my son is missing because of my life’s choices, but then satan drives home those apprehensions even more. Some of the frequent utterings I hear are:
“Your son will never know God’s best design because of you.”
“Wes doesn’t have a godly dad because of you.”
“He’ll never grow up to be a godly man.”
God’s Word is the most influential article we have in our world today. It is mighty, authoritative, and true. As I think about my own fears and about these lies from the enemy, I battle them with one mighty truth from the book of Psalms.
Psalm 68:5 says, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” As I meditate on this lovely verse, I like to think of what God might say in a letter to my 3 year old. It might go something like this…
My Strong Wes,
While you do not have an earthly, godly father, I give you My Word that I will personally step down from my home in the Heavenly realm, walk down from my holy habitation and step in to act as your Father. You don’t need an earthly, godly dad in order to become a righteous man. You have Me and I am enough.
I’ve given you a mom that knows Me. I will protect her for she acknowledges My Name. I will strengthen her and help her. I have promised to give her wisdom in how to instruct you and train you. She is teaching you about Me. She is teaching you about the need for obedience, redemption and hope. She loves you, but not as much as I do.
I love you, Wes, unconditionally and without reservation. Nothing can take you away from my love. I created you and formed you Myself. I did not make any mistakes with you and I continue to mold your little life each and every day. I have plans for you, plans that may not look like you think, but My plans are perfect. Follow them. Follow Me.
I have called you to be kind, compassionate, and loving. I have called you to be strong, brave, bold and valiant. I will personally teach you how to become these things, for I am the very essence of these attributes. I am for you, with you and behind you. I am the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I am holy, powerful, and majestic. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. I will always show up.
Wes, My Word permanently overrides your circumstances and nothing, absolutely nothing, can change that. I will forever raise you as my son.
Love, Your Heavenly Father